Rorschach Reviews

Like most art forms, a Rorschach personality test shows us something abstract and allows us to determine our own interpretation of what it is and what it means to us. This blog is my attempt to explain what I see when I look at these metaphorical movie ink blots, and I hope that along the way I can learn what you see from time to time as well.
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Category Archives: Horror
Evil Dead Review: They Did It!
I first watched the original Evil Dead movie earlier this year, at which point I instantly added it to my favorite horror movies of all time list. As a result, I shared a lot of the same concerns many of … Continue reading
Posted in Horror, New Releases
Tagged David, drug overdose, elizabeth blackmore, Eric, evil dead, evil dead 2013, evil dead 2013 after credit scene, evil dead 2013 post credit scene, evil dead 2013 reviews, evil dead early screening, evil dead no cgi gore, evil dead remake, evil dead remake better than original, evil dead remake bruce campbell cameo, evil dead remake chainsaw, evil dead remake early reviews, evil dead remake no cgi, evil dead remake review, evil dead remake shotgun, fede alvarez, jane levy, jessica lucas, lou taylor pucci, mia, natalie, necronomicon, Olivia, shiloh fernandez, the eveil dead sex scene, the evil dead nude scene, the evil dead remake twist, the evil dead tree rape scene
29 Comments
The Last Exorcism: Part II Review: Woah-Oh Black Betty, Abalam
The likelihood that only 1 in 100 people will understand a reference I make in my titles will never prevent me from making that reference. With The Last Exorcism: Part 2, it is now official; the words “Last”, “Final”, and … Continue reading
Posted in Horror, New Releases
Tagged chicken posession scene, horror movies of 2012, is abalam a real demon?, Levitation scene, masked men, nell sweetzer, nudity in the last exorcism part 2, sex scene in the last exorcism part 2, the demon from the last exorcism, the human statue the last exorcism part 2, the last exorcism 2, the last exorcism abalam, the last exorcism part 2, the last exorcism part 3, the pastor, the roomate, the symbol from the last exorcism part 2
11 Comments
Mama Review: Little Girls Are F*cking Creepy
Actually, Creepy doesn’t begin to cover it. More like Disturbing, or Terrifying, or OMG OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, just having flashbacks. I imagine this is the closest a movie can come to giving me PTSD, but if not … Continue reading
Posted in Horror, New Releases, Reviews
Tagged anna, jessica chastain, jessica chastain cleavage mama, jessica chastain haircut mama, jessica chastain tattoo mama, lucas, mama, mama 2013, mama annabel, mama cgi, mama crawling, mama ending, mama ghost, mama movie, mama review, nicolaj coster-waldau mama, psychiatrist, scariest movie of 2013, uncle luke, why is mama rated R?
24 Comments
A Haunted House Review: Unintentionally Horrific
It’s taken me a while to get this one off of the press, but that’s partly because of my being so busy this last week and partly that it’s a movie I’ve been trying (And for the most part succeeding) … Continue reading
Posted in Comedy, Horror, New Releases
Tagged a haunted house, a haunted house review, andrew daly, cameras, cedric the entertainer, David Koehner, devil inside, Essence Adkins, farting scenes, ghost from haunted house, haunted house 2013, haunted house nudity, kisha, malcolm, mandingo, marlon wayans, Nich Swardson, ouija board, psychic, sex scene haunted house, shitting on dad's ashes, sodomized by ghost, swingers
13 Comments
Texas Chainsaw 3D Review: A Bloody Mess
It’s going to be a long, long year. I knew this new goal of mine wasn’t going to be easy, that I would end up being forced to watch some of the most pointless and ill-conceived pieces of garbage Hollywood throws … Continue reading
Posted in Genre, Horror, New Releases
Tagged alexandra daddario, belly shirt, black sheriff hooper, boobs, carl, cut in half, entertainment, gaming, hatched, heather, heather sawyer family, heather's shirt, hitchhiker, house on fire, kenny, leatherface mask, mayor, meat grinder, mob at the beginning, movie review, naked in texas chainsaw, nikki, nikki bra and underwear, nudity in texas chainsaw, poster, texas chainsaw 2013, texas chainsaw 3d, texas chainsaw massacre remake, trey songz texas chainsaw, videogames
20 Comments
B Movie Madness: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
Tis the season after all and seeing as the closest I’ve come to reviewing a Christmas movie lately is Die Hard, I figured I might give this one a try. Like my last entry into B Movie Madness, Dead Snow, Rare Exports: … Continue reading
B Movie Madness: Dead Snow
I have a theory that Horror movies are an elaborate campaign put on by Abstinence advocates in an attempt to communicate the message that, If you have sex, YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!! In any case, it’s been a long time … Continue reading
Posted in B Movie Madness, Genre, Horror, Reviews
Tagged Chris, colonel herzog, dead snow, dead snow review, Ehrland, Erlend, hammer and sickle, Hanna, horror movie, machine gun, Martin, mg-42, nazi colonel, Nazi Gold, nazi zombies, nazi zombies movie, nazombies, norway, Roy, Sara, sex scene, snowmobile, Vergard
15 Comments
Movies I Should Have Seen By Now: Saw
You could easily argue that this sort of movie doesn’t exactly fit into this category when there are so many other classic films I have yet to expose myself to, but it leads me into my new theme for this … Continue reading
Posted in Genre, Horror, Movies I Should Have Seen By Now, Reviews
Tagged adam, cary elwes, cell phone, danny glover, dead guy, detective, doctor, horror movie reviews, jaw machine, jigsaw, jigsaw mask, jigsaw puppet, jigsaw puppet tricycle, lawrence, main guy, mask, movie reviews, saw, saw 1, saw 2004, saw I, saw review, stomach key, twist in saw, wife daughter
12 Comments
Polish That Turd! Featuring: Troll 2
Have no fear, Gigli is coming soon but I figured I might as well get things kicked off with arguably the worst… I mean BEST… movie of all time. Before I begin though, here are the rules of Polish That … Continue reading
Posted in Genre, Horror, Polish That Turd, Reviews
Tagged claudio fragrasso, creedence, fun facts, goblins, good review of troll 2, good reviews of bad movies, movie reviews, polish that turd, review of troll 2, rorschach reviews, stone henge, they're eating her, troll 2, vegetable, vegetarians, worst acting
9 Comments